


So Fast So Shiny So Sharp

by Felix_Heyday



Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: Antennae, First Time, Other, Oviposition, Robot Sex, Tentacle Sex, Weird Biology, Xenophilia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-30
Updated: 2015-10-30
Packaged: 2018-04-28 23:38:06
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5109674
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Felix_Heyday/pseuds/Felix_Heyday
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A set of 100-word drabbles taking place during Stanford Pines' dimension-hopping days. Five times Stanford had a completely new sexual experience.</p>
            </blockquote>





	So Fast So Shiny So Sharp

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the Trope Bingo "Virginfic" prompt. Title is taken from “4th of July, Asbury Park (Sandy)”, continuing the Bruce Springsteen theme I've got going for this bingo line.

Ford wasn’t a virgin when he left his home dimension. Sex wasn’t a big part of his life, but by his thirties he’d hit the supposed highlights, augmented by some unwise teenage experimentation and one awkward college threesome. 

Or so he thought. 

Dimension-hopping quickly disproves his understanding of virginity as a binary state. With every new evolutionary branch he encounters, there are new opportunities for discovery. Opportunities he has a responsibility to pursue. For science.

“Where am I supposed to insert my eggs?” his new friend Sa’al asks.

Ford adjusts his glasses and looks down.

“Good question. Let’s find out!”

* * *

A multiversal constant: where there’s sexual stimulation, there are sexual aides.

“No worries,” Xemker says, fishing something out of the cargo net, “I’ve got a strap-on.”

The thin, flexible tendril is attached to webbing that seals to Ford's index finger. At a twitch of his tendon the rod shimmies, not quite as sinuously as the organic equivalents, but not a bad approximation. 

Xemker’s antennae are warm and slightly wet as they caress his neck, sliding up slowly along his jaw before teasing into his ear canals. 

Ford shivers in apprehensive pleasure, and then sees what he can do with silicone.

* * *

Time flows backwards in Dimension 37.

He is, or will be, pressed against a partner of living tungsten who has vibrating capabilities and a fascination for living meat.

It starts with the aftershocks. No sooner has the feeling registered than the climax hits him like a bus, at once complete but _wrong_ , like a record playing in reverse. He gasps as the ejaculate is drawn back down his urethra in an impressive display of fluid dynamics. His abdominal muscles contract/ease/contract as he’s pulled forward/back along the plateau.

The only appropriate palindrome that comes to mind is: 

“...wow.”

* * *

“Hang on. Bear with me.”

All right. Two fingers go in _here_ , through the tight aperture of the sheath to where a thumb-sized bundle of erectile tissue will harden under feather-light strokes. Concurrently, his other hand cups a heavy trio of pendulous seed pods and rolls them carefully in his palm. Okay.

It’s the whistling that’s proving a challenge. He purses his lips, aiming for an F-sharp and hitting an E instead. The quivering stinger embedded in his left buttock palpably droops.

“Sorry,” Ford says sheepishly. “Sorry, it’s my first time.”

Fortunately, all four hive-mates prove equally patient with him.

* * *

Sometimes he wonders if he was fated to go through the portal. For instance, the day he discovers tentacles.

They’re pinning his wrists down and holding his legs apart. One of them, warm and salty, twines around his tongue as he sucks on it. Another slides into his ass, _writhing_ , while another wraps around his erection, pulling with astonishing flexibility. 

And the suckers...

His muffled whine earns a low laugh and a squeeze that nearly makes him swoon with bliss.

Reproducibility is a key component of the scientific method. He may have to try this again. And again. And again.


End file.
